We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
