woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize