I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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