and you said cock pushups were impossible
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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