the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
too bad you live with your parents still
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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