So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
