i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
