So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
