i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
