maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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