Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
