thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
