Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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