So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
