Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
