I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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