please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
did i just pee glitter
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
