she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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