So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
