Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
