I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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