that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
