the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
