i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
