fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he had hair everywhere except his balls
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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