You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
