Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
