Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
