if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
