my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
