why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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