please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
