I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's always time for handjobs
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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