i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
