If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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