every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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