is your mom at the bar?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
