if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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