Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
