My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
