you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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