It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
