were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
