She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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