Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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