Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can text with my tongue
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
