Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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