Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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