so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't turn off my feet"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
