Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
