Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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