Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
