do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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