Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
