dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
