i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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