My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize