Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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