I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
