Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
