Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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