she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
