if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
