How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
