I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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