I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize