so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
