just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
